I am writing you this
open letter in hopes that when you’re old enough you’ll be able to read this and know that my love for you is truly unconditional for the world to see. It’s interesting to sit and watch you now, being the true 1 year old little boy that you are; tearing down everything, grasping your little hands on anything that’s within your reach, all while stomping around and making your presence known. And as much as it can be a little taxing to run after you or keep a close eye so that you don’t get yourself into unwanted trouble, it is still so breathe-taking to see your little brain at work and the amount of intelligence that you exude at such a young age. I am in awe of you. My heart is filled with such great love and admiration for the young man that I can see that you’ll be. Ironically, I am astounded by your braveness and resilience to keep trying, even after you’ve failed at something the first time; never giving thought to being tired or frustrated (although you do grunt and scream a little in the process LOL). I am inspired by your ability to forgive, even after being corrected for doing something wrong. I am marveled by your need to always protect and ensure that “Mommy is good”, even when you’ve been busy being oh so adventurous.
You never forget to show how much you love me. I see that, even when you spend most days wanting to spend quality time with Daddy (instead of me) OR you prefer to have playtime with Daddy OR watch your favorite shows/Youtube videos. And even when you’re the most “aggy” or “not so happy” during those moments of wanting your own way, somehow you still know just how to give me a kiss on my cheek to keep me confident that I’m still doing something right. K, you’ve been my biggest motivator to always aim for “more” despite being caught in life’s most undesirable phases of having less at times. Because of you I can wake up each + every day, remaining in the hope that life isn’t always great BUT with you, it feels so much better. You’ve taught me that counting your losses will only keep you losing and that like you, I must understand that if something “doesn’t work” then I should just look for something else that does. You’ve taught me patience (because we all know how kids can test that quality really well LOL). You’ve taught me strength at it’s highest peek in the way that you bounce back (laughing + all) after you’ve fallen and cried for a minute or two. And most importantly, you’ve taught me that love is not conditional; it is forever a part of one’s heart regardless of life’s crazy lessons and tests. I can only fathom what God feels when He watches us grow and become purposeful.
So, as much as I try my best to be the “best me” in order for you to be the “best you”, you’ve taught me WAY more than you’ll ever know. That is why I now can understand why God gives us little human-beings. Not only do they require money, time, nurture, and patience BUT they also help us to understand WHO and WHAT we are and should be. There are lessons in every blessing. And you, my sweet K, are a blessing indeed!! This entire process is truly worth going through so that you can continue to be the greatness that you are! Thank you for choosing me to be your Mommy! I Love You Now + Forever.