As bitter and angry as Life may feel sometimes, I am a firm believer that Collateral Beauty is always present, even in the most darkest moments. When you’ve lived long enough, you start to understand that Life was never designed to be easy. Life is designed to be a teacher of many things, constantly shaping us into stronger, wiser, more resilient human beings. Sometimes those lessons come in the form of sickness and being able to battle through your recovery. Other lessons come in the form of love or a kind of love that is so strained, empty, and short-coming, that it feels lost. More lessons come in the form of managing Motherhood with the tools you’ve been given and the fear of it not being enough to get you through. It can also come in the form of financial struggle and the burden of being responsible on your own, while holding it down as a single mother, independent person, etc. Whatever form your lesson may have revealed itself in, just know that the “key” is to not let it defeat you. We were built for this. All of human kind that has ever been known has weathered their storm and came out fighting until the very end. That’s in our design and our DNA despite color, shape, size, ethnicity, religion, or whatever else we use to label ourselves.
“MAYBE LIFE ISN’T ABOUT AVOIDING THE BRUISES. MAYBE IT’S ABOUT COLLECTING THE SCARS TO PROVE WE SHOWED UP FOR IT.”
But let’s be honest for a moment. Being victorious may not always feel like it in the midst of the battle. Sometimes the opposition seems too great and sometimes the opposing side makes us feel outnumbered. And while we strive for certain successes regardless of our fears, go after our dreams in the mightiest way possible, love uncontrollably without hesitation, filter out the negativity as much as possible to maintain positive thinking, forgive as much as our hearts allow; unfortunately, we can still settle into feeling like we’ve lost more than we’ve gained in our fight. Sometimes we come out feeling more empty, less valued, more utilized, angry at ourselves for being so vulnerable, so kind, so understanding to those who have not; AND so much more. I understand. I’ve had my moments, too. At times, being the best and bigger person in a world where it’s “every man for themselves” can feel tiring and unproductive. But trust me, it’s not! It’s not about them. It’s about you. It’s about your character and who you are becoming.
“Remember that everything happens in time.”
Nothing grows, flourishes, or even changes overnight. EVERYTHING TAKES TIME. Your efforts will be rewarded in time. Karma is far too real. It’s invisible, but exists. I’ve learned that. I’ve seen it. Don’t ever worry about what people do, say, or plan against you. It’s already handled. Life has a great way of ensuring that.
If they left you or choose not correspond, hold your head up high Darling and keep moving forward. Not everyone is meant to be a part of your [newness]. Some people remove themselves easily. Others, you may have to remove manually. Whichever it is, just know that removal is an imperative part of the process, too. That’s the only way that space is made. Just focus on the goal at hand. I’ve learned the hard way that Life will force what it wants out and pull what it wants inward. Some people who you’d expect to love you, won’t. Some people who you’d hope would understand you, won’t care to. And others you’ve tried to be there for, won’t appreciate you. At some point, you’ll just have to learn to leave and cleave to other things. Life is a pattern of constant renewal.
PEOPLE WILL NOTICE THE CHANGE IN YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS THEM, BUT WON’T NOTICE THEIR BEHAVIOR THAT MADE YOU CHANGE.
Most times, It’s our fears that keep us settling, sticking around, and continuously sacrificing ourselves for the things that will never honor our value. We just have to let it go. Let the fear of being left empty–GO!
When it’s ALL said and done, understand that there is collateral beauty in everything that has happened in your Life. Every hurt, rejection, restriction, hate, grief, and uncomfortable thing has beauty present inside it. You just have to see it with clearer eyes and understand it with an open mind. The things that aren’t so pleasant have awarded themselves to you so that you can say that you’ve SURVIVED and i turn help someone survive theirs.
EVERY STORY IS JUST A STORY TO CONNECT TO ANOTHER STORY TO CREATE AN EVEN BIGGER STORY.
You get it? So don’t let what you didn’t get keep you from getting more. That’s only a chapter in your story. You still have plenty more to write. The pages that you left scribbling or trying to gather the write verbiage to convey the pain you’ve felt is not necessary. It’s most certainly not the end. Keep writing, Darling!
“THE SECRET OF CHANGE IS TO FOCUS ALL OF YOUR ENERGY, NOT ON FIGHTING THE OLD, BUT ON BUILDING THE NEW.” – SOCRATES
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